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Startup You

Startup You  via posted originally at  cnnmoneytech.tumblr.com

When the Ninja’s see something interesting to share, we do! This Robot we have been following for a while and it’s time to unleash his humor and truth on our Ninja Community. Tell us what you think by letting us know if you liked this post by commenting below.

Fake Grimlock, a caffeine-fueled giant robot dinosaur, has been stomping through the blogs of tech luminaries such as Fred WilsonEric Ries and Brad Feld dispensing advice and commentary on the startup scene. 

Written by the awesome Fake Grimlock

IT NEW YEAR. YOU SUCK.

TIME TO DESTROY SUCK, BE AWESOME INSTEAD.

ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, SAY BEST WAY IS BE STARTUP. BE LEAN. FIND MARKET. ITERATE UNTIL AWESOME.

NOW.

IT TIME FOR STARTUP YOU.

YES, THIS HOMAGE TO CLASSIC COMIC BOOK COVER

STEP 1: BE LEAN

YOUR LIFE FULL OF FAIL. EVERY DAY LIFE PAINT NEW LAYER OF EASY, LAZY, DO NOTHING ON YOU. YOU COVERED IN FAIL PAINT.

EVERYTHING NOT MAKE LONG TERM WIN IS FAIL PAINT. WORLD OF WARCRAFT. FACEBOOK. HANG OUT WITH LOSERS. EAT ANOTHER BIG MAC.

EACH TRIP THROUGH DRIVETHROUGH OF FAIL TURN YOUR TIME AND MONEY INTO MORE NOTHING. YOU WANT HAVE SOMETHING? FIND MCDONALDS OF YOUR SOUL.

BURN IT TO THE GROUND.

DESTROY FAIL PAINT. LIFE NEED ONLY TWO THINGS:

1. STAY ALIVE

2. WIN

STOP DOING EVERYTHING ELSE.

LINKS FOR REAL YOU IS LEAN YOU: WHAT LEAN STARTUP? *SOME BLOG ABOUT DO LESS STUFF * SIMPLE LIFE TUMBLR *BE YOU, NOT FAIL

THIS STEP ONE TO FILL SOUL WITH FIRE

STEP 2: FIND MARKET

MOST PEOPLE SPEND LIFE DOING THINGS THAT SUCK.

STOP.

LEAN LIFE ONLY HAVE THINGS THAT WIN. ONE OF THEM THING YOU LOVE TO DO.

DO THAT INSTEAD.

SOMEWHERE PEOPLE WANT WHAT YOU DO. SOMEHOW IS WAY GIVE IT TO THEM.

MAKE THAT HAPPEN.

DO THING YOU LOVE MAKE YOU MORE AWESOME. GIVE THING YOU LOVE TO OTHERS MAKE YOU MORE AWESOME. YOU MORE AWESOME MAKE YOU BETTER AT DO EVERYTHING.

THIS YOUR AWESOME ENGINE. WHEN IT TURN, YOU WIN.

TURN THAT ENGINE.

LINKS FOR TURN ENGINE: HOW STARTUPS DO IT * THIS PLACE FOR SELL STUFF MAKE * THIS PLACE FOR SELL ANYTHING *HOW TO SUPERCHARGE ENGINE

NOW YOU KNOW WHERE AWESOME COME FROM. IT NOT DELIVERED BY STORK.

STEP 3: ITERATE UNTIL AWESOME

GET STARTED EASY. KEEP GOING HARD. YOU MUST BURN TO ESCAPE LAND OF DO NOTHING.

LAND OF DO NOTHING FULL OF FAIL. MOST PEOPLE AFRAID. DO NOTHING.

YOU NOT MOST PEOPLE.

MAKE THING YOU LOVE INTO FIST. SHOVE INTO BIGGEST FAIL YOU CAN HANDLE. SURVIVE PAIN. LEARN. REPEAT UNTIL WIN.

NOW FIND BIGGER FAIL.

PATH OUT OF NOTHING IS STACK OF WIN. CHOOSE RIGHT FAILS AND STACK WIN INTO VICTORY.

LINKS FOR ITERATE WIN: THIS IS HOW TO PICK RIGHT FAILS *LONG BORING ARTICLE ABOUT WHY FAIL IS GREAT * HARRY POTTER LADY ON HOW FAIL BEST THING SHE EVER DO

MAYBE IT TIP OVER... INTO AWESOME!

BUT WAIT, THERE MORE…

STEP 4: BALANCE

THIS PART EVERYONE FORGET.

BE AWESOME FOR 1 YEAR, BURNT OUT HUSK FOR REST OF LIFE NOT GOOD PLAN.

OPTIMIZE TO WIN FOR LIFE. USE WIN CAPACITORS.

WIN CAPACITOR NOT MAKE WIN ON OWN. IT STORE AWESOME FOR MAKE BIGGER WIN.

GOOD FOOD. SLEEP. BE FIT, HEALTHY. FRIENDS THAT NOT SUCK. HOT LOVING. NICE DOG. ALL GIVE EXTRA AWESOME WHEN TIME TO WIN.

FIND RIGHT WIN CAPACITORS FOR YOU. STACK TOGETHER, SPEND TIME MAKE THEM GREAT. EVERY SECOND SPEND ON WIN CAPACITOR IS 5 SECONDS OF MORE WIN WHEN NEED IT.

STEP 5: BE AWESOME, NOT ASSHOLE

THIS OTHER PART EVERYONE FORGET.

BE AWESOME FEEL GOOD. IF NOT FEEL EVEN BETTER FOR EVERYONE ELSE, YOU DOING IT WRONG.

BE AWESOME IS BURN WITH FIRE THAT MAKE EVERYONE WARM. BURN FOR JUST YOU IS BE ASSHOLE.

FORGET YOU. BE AWESOME FOR WORLD. BE AWESOME FOR SELF HAPPEN ON OWN.

THAT IT.

YOU READY. PEEL AWAY FAIL PAINT, STRAP AWESOME ENGINE TO BACK, GRAB WIN CAPACITORS AND ROCKET INTO SKY ON STACK OF WIN.

ONLY THING THAT STOP YOU IS YOU. GET OUT OF OWN WAY, SET COURSE TO AWESOME.

STARTUP YOU.

YES, THIS IS POSTER. THERE GOING TO BE WAY FOR YOU GET ONE.

This post is Creative Commons and can be reposted anywhere with attribution. 

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