Startup You via posted originally at cnnmoneytech.tumblr.com
When the Ninja’s see something interesting to share, we do! This Robot we have been following for a while and it’s time to unleash his humor and truth on our Ninja Community. Tell us what you think by letting us know if you liked this post by commenting below.
Fake Grimlock, a caffeine-fueled giant robot dinosaur, has been stomping through the blogs of tech luminaries such as Fred Wilson, Eric Ries and Brad Feld dispensing advice and commentary on the startup scene.
Written by the awesome Fake Grimlock
IT NEW YEAR. YOU SUCK.
TIME TO DESTROY SUCK, BE AWESOME INSTEAD.
ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, SAY BEST WAY IS BE STARTUP. BE LEAN. FIND MARKET. ITERATE UNTIL AWESOME.
IT TIME FOR STARTUP YOU.
STEP 1: BE LEAN
YOUR LIFE FULL OF FAIL. EVERY DAY LIFE PAINT NEW LAYER OF EASY, LAZY, DO NOTHING ON YOU. YOU COVERED IN FAIL PAINT.
EVERYTHING NOT MAKE LONG TERM WIN IS FAIL PAINT. WORLD OF WARCRAFT. FACEBOOK. HANG OUT WITH LOSERS. EAT ANOTHER BIG MAC.
EACH TRIP THROUGH DRIVETHROUGH OF FAIL TURN YOUR TIME AND MONEY INTO MORE NOTHING. YOU WANT HAVE SOMETHING? FIND MCDONALDS OF YOUR SOUL.
BURN IT TO THE GROUND.
DESTROY FAIL PAINT. LIFE NEED ONLY TWO THINGS:
1. STAY ALIVE
STOP DOING EVERYTHING ELSE.
STEP 2: FIND MARKET
MOST PEOPLE SPEND LIFE DOING THINGS THAT SUCK.
LEAN LIFE ONLY HAVE THINGS THAT WIN. ONE OF THEM THING YOU LOVE TO DO.
DO THAT INSTEAD.
SOMEWHERE PEOPLE WANT WHAT YOU DO. SOMEHOW IS WAY GIVE IT TO THEM.
MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
DO THING YOU LOVE MAKE YOU MORE AWESOME. GIVE THING YOU LOVE TO OTHERS MAKE YOU MORE AWESOME. YOU MORE AWESOME MAKE YOU BETTER AT DO EVERYTHING.
THIS YOUR AWESOME ENGINE. WHEN IT TURN, YOU WIN.
TURN THAT ENGINE.
STEP 3: ITERATE UNTIL AWESOME
GET STARTED EASY. KEEP GOING HARD. YOU MUST BURN TO ESCAPE LAND OF DO NOTHING.
LAND OF DO NOTHING FULL OF FAIL. MOST PEOPLE AFRAID. DO NOTHING.
YOU NOT MOST PEOPLE.
MAKE THING YOU LOVE INTO FIST. SHOVE INTO BIGGEST FAIL YOU CAN HANDLE. SURVIVE PAIN. LEARN. REPEAT UNTIL WIN.
NOW FIND BIGGER FAIL.
PATH OUT OF NOTHING IS STACK OF WIN. CHOOSE RIGHT FAILS AND STACK WIN INTO VICTORY.
BUT WAIT, THERE MORE…
STEP 4: BALANCE
THIS PART EVERYONE FORGET.
BE AWESOME FOR 1 YEAR, BURNT OUT HUSK FOR REST OF LIFE NOT GOOD PLAN.
OPTIMIZE TO WIN FOR LIFE. USE WIN CAPACITORS.
WIN CAPACITOR NOT MAKE WIN ON OWN. IT STORE AWESOME FOR MAKE BIGGER WIN.
GOOD FOOD. SLEEP. BE FIT, HEALTHY. FRIENDS THAT NOT SUCK. HOT LOVING. NICE DOG. ALL GIVE EXTRA AWESOME WHEN TIME TO WIN.
FIND RIGHT WIN CAPACITORS FOR YOU. STACK TOGETHER, SPEND TIME MAKE THEM GREAT. EVERY SECOND SPEND ON WIN CAPACITOR IS 5 SECONDS OF MORE WIN WHEN NEED IT.
STEP 5: BE AWESOME, NOT ASSHOLE
THIS OTHER PART EVERYONE FORGET.
BE AWESOME FEEL GOOD. IF NOT FEEL EVEN BETTER FOR EVERYONE ELSE, YOU DOING IT WRONG.
BE AWESOME IS BURN WITH FIRE THAT MAKE EVERYONE WARM. BURN FOR JUST YOU IS BE ASSHOLE.
FORGET YOU. BE AWESOME FOR WORLD. BE AWESOME FOR SELF HAPPEN ON OWN.
YOU READY. PEEL AWAY FAIL PAINT, STRAP AWESOME ENGINE TO BACK, GRAB WIN CAPACITORS AND ROCKET INTO SKY ON STACK OF WIN.
ONLY THING THAT STOP YOU IS YOU. GET OUT OF OWN WAY, SET COURSE TO AWESOME.
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